Discover my secret weapon to overcoming the overwhelm and exhaustion of motherhood
How the Motherhood Map could help you find the peace and confidence you crave.
Are you constantly on high alert, monitoring every aspect of your child’s well-being, and vigilant for any hint of threat or danger? There are so, so many things to keep on top of to care for your baby:
Are they feeding enough?
Are they sleeping enough? (No!!!)
Are they putting on enough weight?
Are they teething?
Are they going through a developmental leap?
Are they ready to roll/sit up/crawl?
And for all of these – if not, WHY not?
What I consistently hear as being the greatest source of stress for mothers is the mental load, compounded by the lack of recognition and understanding of just how great a source of stress this.
Did you know that a mother’s brain is biologically primed to prioritise recognising and responding to their baby’s needs as part of its innate survival mechanism? THIS is why we literally cannot “just relax” or “take a break” as people around us may (un)helpfully suggest.
The burden of the mental load
I know from my 11 years as a mother just how overwhelming and exhausting both the mental and the physical loads of motherhood can be. Trying to do all the things and be all things to all people, with nowhere near enough sleep or hours in the day.
I think the majority of the work we do as mothers is invisible, internal, thankless, draining, exhausting, frustrating, mental load. If you know, you know.
The problem with this internal, invisible workload is that, unlike physical, visible tasks, it gives us no sense of achievement or satisfaction, we receive no recognition, feedback, or praise for it, and there is no endpoint to it – we are never finished.
Somehow (and I’ll leave that for another day) men do physical work (and so accomplish a goal, experience an endpoint when the task is finished, and the potential for positive feedback), and women do both physical work AND carry the majority (or all!) of the mental load… but for women, the benefits of the physical work which men are able to enjoy, are completely overshadowed by the burden of the endless mental load they carry.
One way to manage this for yourself is to make the Invisible tasks, Visible, by writing them down on a list. Then, you can begin to work towards some of the benefits of physical work – you can see it, which may make it easier to put a deadline/endpoint on it, and if so, you can tick it off when it has been dealt with, and give yourself credit for doing so.
Another benefit of seeing things written down is that it makes it clearer where you might need some support.
When I get overwhelmed, the hardest part for me is knowing where to start to find my way out of it.
That’s why I created the Motherhood Map.
My “babies” are 11 and 7 years old, and I still regularly use this tool to check in with myself. I use it to explore eight different aspects of my life, and to notice:
i) which ones currently feel supportive, so that I can build on this, and
ii) which ones currently do not feel supportive enough, so that I can make some adjustments.
The Motherhood Map has two steps:
1. I assess my current support system
I use the wheel to assess the degree of support I feel that each the eight categories is currently providing on my motherhood journey. Some of the categories are very practical things e.g. food and water intake, how much movement and sleep I’m getting; and others are more mindset related e.g. my self-talk, my expectations.
2. I reflect on my result
I ask myself a few questions to help me to reflect on (not judge!!!) my results.
If you are interested in experiencing the benefits of the Motherhood Map tool, you can download your own copy here . Within the download I explain how you can avail of my support to help you to reflect on your results, if you wish.
Quick recap:
Even though the mental load of motherhood is invisible, every mother will agree that its impact is very real, draining and often distressing. My Motherhood Map will help you to find your way through the overwhelm and get clear on your next steps. Download your copy here. I’m looking forward to hearing how you get on with it!
